Auto-Tune the News #8: dragons. geese. Michael Vick. (ft. T-Pain)

We were honored to be joined in our newsmangling by Chairman Pain of the Federal Commission of T-Pain.


JB: Imagine with me for a moment. Imagine an America. Imagine a world Where people pop the hood of their cars And they see stamped on an electronic motor the words: "Made in America."
All: Made in America! Made in America!
JB: Imagine, imagine...
All: Made in America! Made in America!
JB: That's what I want to imagine!
All: God bless y'all.

MV: Now I wanna be part of the solution and not the problem. I gotta start somewhere, gotta crawl before I walk.
All: Ay! Crawl before I walk, ay! Crawl before I walk!
EG & SG: Before he flies like an Eagle.
EG: woo!
SVP: Michael Vick served his time, he paid his debt to society and now, he has either earned or been given another chance.
SVP,EG,SG: Another chaaaance!

MR: Katie Couric is off today.
AG: But I'm still lookin at a fine shawtay-ay-ay.
MR: I'm Maggie Rodriguez.
AG: Nice to meet you, boo. Let's talk about the noo-ews.
MR: The city of New York is declaring a war on geese And some animal activists are crying
AG: Crying?
MR: Crying
AG: Crying?
MR: Crying foul.
AG: Crying how?
MR: Crying fowl.
AG: oh
MR: Birds can become a feathered foe if they collide with airplanes
AG: True.
MR: Operation Goose-Be-Gone involves reducing the population within five miles of the airport
Both: Those geese are cooked. Those geese are cooked, cooked, cooked.
MR: Wildlife experts and the FAA agree
Both: Those geese are cooked.
AG: The Federal Commission of Me agrees
Both: Those geese are cooked.
AG: Now they livin on a wing and a prayer
Both: A wing and a prayer
AG: How many geese?
MR: Two thousand geese.
AG: That's a lot of geese.
MR: Those geese are f---ed.
AG: So sad and so tasty for my helpless flyin homies.
MR: The debate continues in New York, but for now
Both: Those geese are cooked, cooked.

CG: As you can see from the chart, A massive fire-breathing Debt and Deficit Dragon
CG: I have a chart.
CC: He has a chart!
CG: I have a chart.
CC: A dragon chart!
CG: The surtax is painful to the goose, Lethal to the goose
CC: Which goose?
CG: The goose that lays the golden egg
CC: My favorite goose
CG: The goose that lays, the goose that lays, lays the golden egg.
CC: That goose is cooked, cooked, cooked!
JE: Am I wasted or did that really transpire? So many metaphors my brain is on fire. *phone* Ay!
TPain: Ay!
JE: Ay!
TPain: Ay!
JE: Aaaay!
TPain: Tell Katie-Coo, stop screenin my calls. Or else, she gon be on Very thin ice
JE: Very thin ice
KC: Very thin ice
All: Very thin ice
JE: Sing it T-Pain, geese are on
All: Very thin ice
MR: Those geese are cooked, those geese are cooked, cooked.
SVP: Give 'em another chance.
CG: The goose that lays the golden egg!
MR: Those geese are f----ed. Those geese are
All: Made in America, made in America
SVP: Michael Vick served his time
JE: But he's on very thin ice
All: Very thin ice. Very very very thin ice.
CG: I have a chart.
MG: I have a mullet.
CG: I have a chart.
MG: I'm offerin you a piece of bread. How could you possibly refuse a man with a mullet. piece of BREEAAD!